


The Long Road Home

by DevilDancer1827



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Mentions of Canonical Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-12
Updated: 2014-06-12
Packaged: 2018-02-04 09:31:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1774267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DevilDancer1827/pseuds/DevilDancer1827
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Arthur's death, Merlin can't bring himself to return to Camelot. So he travels.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Long Road Home

**Author's Note:**

> My first Merlin story. I hope I do the characters justice. Any and all criticism is welcome. I hope you enjoy!

Merlin knew he should return to Camelot. To his home. Where Guinevere and Gaius and his friends are. But he didn't, couldn't. At least not then. So he just sat by the Lake, looking across the water towards his best friend, and king's, final resting place (for now). He sat, and thought, reminisced the times shared with his most important person and grieved for the times not yet spent. The times he won't get to spend with a person he knows he won't see again for a long time yet.

It was painful, excruciatingly painful, to lose his other half - the other side to his coin, his partner in destiny. And although he knew - was sure - that they would meet again in the distant future, it didn't make the loss any less agonising. Picturing Arthur's smile, his teasing words, the laughs they'd shared together was easier than thinking of the present, of the times without him that were to come. It didn't lessen the hurt, but neither did it increase it. There was just an ache in him that would forever be present.

Merlin looked back on more than just the good times shared between him and Arthur, he reached deep into his memories, his heart, and revived every moment spent together whether it was in joy or in anger, as he knew it was the first step to moving on.

He spent those days in a haze. He made camp, cooked food and survived, and at times he just had to wonder why it was he couldn't have died next to Arthur, like he once promised, why they couldn't have gone to the Lake together, side-by-side, as they always should have been.

When he finally left the Lake, he didn't turn to Camelot, he turned the other way.

He went to Ealdor.

***

Hunith welcomed him, sheltered him and didn't ask questions. He knew he looked bad - haggard and weary and broken - but she understood him so well and didn't expect anything until he was ready. He leaned into her touches and enjoyed her cooking. He held light conversation and comfortable silences. He relaxed in her presence, and when he finally told her what happened, he accepted her embrace and in her arms, once again wept for his king and for the future that wouldn't be.

When he left his mother and childhood home with a horse and fresh supplies, Merlin found he still could not turn towards Camelot.

So he went North.

***

He visited many towns and villages in the many different kingdoms. He spent months observing different lifestyles, religions and people and gathered much knowledge.

When he heard the news, in a lively pub in Mercia, that they officially declared Arthur dead and Gwen took over the kingdom of Camelot, he smiled. He knew Gwen, and had seen the powerful leader she would become, already is. Her wisdom and kindness guaranteed that peace in Camelot would last for a long while in her reign.

Merlin almost went back home then - his heart ached for it. But it was in a city on the border of the kingdom that he heard of Gwaine's death and he turned his back with a new ache joining the still raw wounds of grief in his heart. He mourned the loss of a great friend who in the end, was never able to know the real him, and never would.

This time he turned toward the ocean.

***

He travelled the seas for one more month before he felt it, a shock that sent his whole body shivering and a coldness crept its way to the very depths of his soul and had him crying out loud in the pain of a new grief.

Kilgarrah's time had finally come.

This loss felt different than the others. As a Dragonlord, he and Kilgarrah were kin, bonded down to the soul. Ever since he had gained his Dragonlord powers and gave Kilgarrah his first order, he had felt a distant connection to the ancient creature and now that the string has been cut, he felt a part of him sting deeply.

He felt the loss of a great ally and confidant and one of the last dragons in the world. At the back of his mind, he felt Aithusa and knew she also felt the loss of the Great Dragon.

Two days later, Merlin finished his voyage.

He went to the forests. 

***

They found each other.

They could sense one another, their last kin, the closest they felt to family. They were both grieving hearts, and although they were once one opposite sides of a war, they found great comfort in each other.

Merlin didn't blame her nor hate her, she had seen something in Morgana – maybe something of the woman she once was - and bonded with her. He'd heard of their imprisonment together and knew of their connection. Their bond was strong and forged from shared suffering.

Aithusa hated that her best friend was now gone forever, and hated that Merlin, her kin, had been the one to kill her, but she knew that Morgana had done bad things. She didn't blame Merlin for what he had done, intelligent creature she was, and knew his actions were justified.

Merlin healed her voice, but her stunted growth could not be fixed and she could not speak the human tongue. He told her of his adventures with his king and his knowledge of things she did not know because she listened, comforted him in his grief and became the companion he desperately needed. And he felt something in him ease, and he felt lighter than ever.

They travelled together and discovered new things with each other. Merlin practiced his magic and brought her joy by making the land come to life. Aithusa soared the skies and wove patterns through the air and breathed light into his soul.

Aithusa grew stronger with Merlin's guidance and eventually they were weaving through the skies together.

And so Merlin faced the world with a new friend.

***

When they caught wind of magic coming back to Camelot, they both felt it was time.

Aithusa was hesitant at first; Camelot was once the hunter of her kind and an enemy. Merlin assuaged her fears, however, and while she was still nervous, she knew she would be fine as long as he was with her.

Merlin was homesick and although he knew it wouldn't be the same without Arthur or Gwaine, he missed the castle and his rooms and Gwen and Gaius and the other Knights of the Round Table. The time he spent travelling by himself and with Aithusa were precious and an experience he will never forget, but after almost two years, it was time to go home.

Finally, he headed in the direction of Camelot.

***

They made one last stop on the way home.

Aithusa alighted them in a clearing and they both travelled to the Lake of Avalon. Merlin couldn't stop his memories of the place and didn't fight the tears that slid down his face as he came to stand at the lake shores. Aithusa respectfully stayed back near the tree line.

"Arthur, it's finally time for me to return home, to Camelot. I've been away for a while and I'm sure much has changed. Gwen has become a wonderful queen, I've heard. I'll see for myself soon. You'd be so proud. Don't worry Arthur, I'll stand by her now, I'll protect Camelot and Albion until your return. Oh yeah, Gwen legalised magic a few months ago, so I'll be free now it seems.” He smiled brightly and wiped at his eyes, “Oh, I've wished for this for ages! Aithusa - you know, the dragon - will, hopefully, become a new citizen too. They'll be scared at first, I know, but Gwen will surely love her and Gaius will most definitely be awestruck. I can just picture the look on their faces.” He chuckled slightly at the thought.

"Camelot will be peaceful for a long time yet, Arthur. I'm pretty much immortal it seems, and I'll wait for your return and the time I can be by your side once again. But don't be a prat and make me wait too long! Knowing you, I'll be old and wrinkly with white hair and a beard before you come back! At least I have Aithusa now, she's a great friend. You'll meet her someday, I know you'll love her too.” Merlin sighed, “It's time to say goodbye for now, Arthur. I'll see you." 

He grinned a bright smile that was slightly watery and stood there for a few moments, catching his bearings, before wiping his tears once again and turning back to Aithusa still waiting patiently. She nuzzled him once, comfortingly, and Merlin leaned into her touch.

When they took to the air once more, he looked back only once before turning forward toward the castle of Camelot.

***

They flew over the forest and hovered above the castle courtyard as guards and knights and people shouted below, in fear or surprise. The soldiers had their weapons out as they descended, but they didn't attack. Merlin spotted Leon and Percival below, who seemed to be ordering them down.

When they touched down, Merlin saw Leon and Percival slowly come toward them, cautious of Aithusa. But they had weapons out and he could see they were as excited to see him as he was to see them. He rushed forward with a big smile and was greeted with a one-armed embrace from Percival and a pat on the back from Leon.

"Merlin! You're back! It's so good to see you!" Percival was as big and tall as ever.

"You sure haven't forgotten how to make an entrance." Leon seemed to hardly have changed, turning his gaze over the dragon in wonder.

Merlin sensed Aithusa's apprehension at the many people openly gaping at her and the uneasy whispering and mutters. He smiled at her reassuringly and stroked her snout supportively, before answering the knights.

"I missed you guys t-"

"Merlin!"

He was cut off by a shout of his name and he turned to see Gwen looking as regal as ever coming toward him while dispersing the crowd of people and soldiers who were gathered. Merlin grinned amusedly at her trying to hold back the urge to run he knew she had, only holding back because of the public setting. Leon and Percival stepped out of the way for her, as she rushed into his open arms. He rubbed her back as she squeezed him tight.

When she stepped back, he saw her eyes were slightly watery and her smile was extremely happy. She looked between him and Aithusa side-by-side and said, "You're back."

"Yeah, sorry to make you wait, Gwen. I mean, Your Majesty." He bowed, with a cheeky smile playing on his face.

She hit him lightly on the arm. "Oh, stop that Merlin!"

The four of them laughed heartily, until another shout of his name was heard. "Merlin!"

Gwen and the knights laughed again when Merlin flinched at the admonishing but fond tone of Gaius'. But his smile grew happier and his eyes lit up as he hurried forward to hug the aged man.

When they parted, Merlin came face-to-face with Gaius' furious face, with the eyebrow and all. He braced himself for the lectured he knew was coming. "Merlin! Where do you think you get off disappearing like that for so long, do you want to give an old man a heart attack? Not one word in nearly two whole years!" His tone turned from reprimanding to exasperated. "At least dear Hunith sent me a letter after your visit to tell me how you were doing! Really Merlin, we were all very worried for you!"

Merlin looked at the ground guiltily before facing his friends - family - with a remorseful smile. "I'm sorry everyone, I just needed some time alone, to find myself, you know?"

Gwen spoke for them all. "We forgive you Merlin, you're here now, aren't you?"

"And here to stay I'm sure." They all looked determined to force him if he didn't.

Merlin gave an elated laugh. "Of course, I'm home now." He turned his head to Aithusa slightly behind him. "I'd also like to introduce you all to Aithusa, my friend." He gestured for her to come forward to stand beside him. "And judging by the lack of surprise, or smaller amount than I expected, I'm guessing Gaius already told you all about my gifts."

"Yes, we were quite surprised at first, but it fit." Leon sounded fond and not at all scared by what he could do. "Not that you make much more sense now anyway."

Laughter sounded all 'round.

Merlin was the first to recover, "Come on now, Aithusa really does want to meet you all."

Gaius step up first. "It is an honour to meet you, Aithusa. I am Gaius." He bowed his head in greeting.

Aithusa made a small growling noise in the Dragon Tongue, which Merlin translated. "She said it's nice to meet you too."

"Can she not speak the human language?"

"No, her voice was damaged during her younger years. I healed it, but her voice isn't strong enough for our speech yet. But she can understand us perfectly."

Gwen's face softened in sympathy, "Oh you poor thing! My name is Guinevere, or Gwen if you prefer." She held out a hand, only slightly hesitant, as if to touch her.

Aithusa stepped forward and looked at Merlin in slight anxiety, before leaning her head forward and butting Gwen's outstretched hand. Gwen laughed a merry sound and started to stroke the dragon's scales.

Merlin laughed with her, exuberant in the feel of home once again and the freedom, to be open with his magic just as he dreamed. He only wished Arthur could be there with them. His smile turned wistful as he watched his remaining loved ones interact.

He would wait, however many centuries it took, to find his king again. But for now there was this, and he was happy to finally be home.


End file.
